What is the number one piece of advice you would give someone to help December stay beautiful AND simple? I find December a magical time. I love the changing weather, the shorter days, the smells, and white lights everywhere. The children’s anticipation provides so much tangible joy. If I make the time, baking cookies, giving gifts (and wrapping them!), and attending a local chorale production all add to the season. We’re a family of advent calendars, decorations on Thanksgiving weekend, and playing Christmas carols all month long.
But in reality, the glossy magazines and store displays overwhelm me. The budget is constantly having to be watched. The pressure of expectations can crush the magic. Dust bunnies and grimy floors still materialize in December. And three family birthdays are celebrated, more than any other month of the year. I struggle to keep December beautiful and simple.
So I want to hear your PRACTICAL suggestions. What is your number one piece of advice for all of us at Tea Party Girl? Have you switched to e-cards for Christmas card greetings? Do you skip out on the school/church pageant? Do you serve Kentucky Fried Chicken for Christmas Eve dinner? (I HOPE not, but you never know!) What do you do or not do?
Hey, you’re multi-tasking with this post! 😉
The best thing my family has done to cut the stress of gift giving is name drawing. I have 8 siblings (ages vary, I’m the oldest at 25) and my family just keeps growing with my getting married & having kids and now my sister married and expecting her first baby. A few years ago my parents decided to have us all draw names (even the little ones) and one of my grandma does it with us as well. So while my parents still usually get a little something for everyone we all aren’t pressured to get everyone a gift. We set a $$ range so no one feels like they spent less or more than someone else and part of the gift is homemade – even if it’s just the card. Doing this we all still have gifts to open together but it’s not so stressful & much easier on the budget.
Another thing I do is send out a yearly letter and skip the card. I write up a ‘Dear Family & Friends’ letter that gives updates on what/how we are all doing – kids’ milestones and whatnot. I either use plain white paper & add a Christmas clipart or buy some decorative stationary – either way it’s less expensive than buying boxes of cards. I always include a 4×6 family picture (which can be very inexpensive if you catch a sale on an online printing service).
We give our children 3 presents only-to remind them that Jesus got 3 gifts. Of course, they get plenty of loot from everyone else too, so they still end up with too much stuff, but at least we are keeping it down on our end.
We also write Christmas letters, but the catch is that I write them very tongue in cheek. One year when I was expecting the entire thing was about our fetus & how much he was growing & how talented he was. Anyway, we always throw in something weird, another year it was a picture of our family taken with a Mars backdrop, and the letter was themed as if we had moved to Mars & what it was like there.
Last year when went on vacation for two weeks at the end of December! Ok, that’s not very practical but it really did simplify the holidays as we just spent time together as a family and didn’t worry about what everyone else was doing or buying. I would love to do it every year!
Our kids get a stocking from Santa and one gift from us. I put up a tree but that’s about it for decorations. I have never done Christmas cards but I hope to some day! I just like to spend a lot of time sitting around the tree reading our pile of Christmas abooks or listening to music. I don’t get into commercial holiday celebrating so Christmas is usually fun and relaxing.
This is totally lame but I have started giving everyone in our extended family gift cards for holidays and birthdays. I hate buying anyone anything that’s going to turn into clutter so it works for me!
try “the $100 holiday” by bill mckibben…interesting ideas for simplifying the holiday season.
We got a prelit artificial tree that only has three pieces. Very simple, especially if you’re out of town part of the month.
And why not send Valentine greetings instead and spread the budget crunch out a bit?
I love Christmas. I begin decorating in November. I have always tried to make Christmas special to my family. They too love the Christmas season. I work at not stressing out over cards, decorating, baking, etc. My goal is to enjoy every moment, which I do. Probably the worst thing about this time of year is hearing people talk about how busy they are and that they are going crazy. I always encourage them to slow down and enjoy and stop worrying. We are the only ones that can control our time and what we do with it. Most of us do exactly what we want to do. My goal is creating a peaceful home at Christmas and the rest of the year too. 🙂
I have scaled back our Christmases drastically and we seem to enjoy them much more. We have Christmas music on most of the day. We have several traditions including a red amaryllis, a nativity set, a heirloom china set for Christmas day, hot chocolate and croissants for Christmas morning BEFORE opening presents, driving or walking around town to see the lights, attend at least one Christmas tree lighting ceremony and one church concert, watch Christmas movies all season (at home), sing in our church choir. Santa only brings one gift, parents one or two. There are plenty more received from family, friends, neighbors so our son is far from deprived. We just want to make sure that the presents don’t become the reason for celebrating Christmas. We only put out a few choice decorations these days, but there are touches of Christmas in each room yet without all the extra “clutter”. I no longer send out Christmas cards to every person we’ve ever met. I send a few THANKSGIVING cards to those we are thankful for. They seem to be appreciated much more and it’s one less thing to do in December. We stay away from malls. We go to parties if and only if we have time and usually only if they are very good friends year round.
I only do the Christmas tree. I do cards but I keep them minimal. My husband and I set a limit for gifts for each other. And for other people.
I like to give clutter-free things so I do stuff they can use. I only give to our immediate families although I do send to my VIP clients too (usually something small that can be posted in an envelope with the Christmas card, so I am forced to be creative).
Here’s how we did some of it. Last year we celebrated with my husband’s family the weekend before Christmas. The adults all brought a white elephant or a funny gag gift. We played the game where the first person picked a gift, the next person picked a new gift or took someone else’s. We have never laughed so much in our lives. It also helped that a couple of the gifts were things we knew people would fight over. Shopping was easy and it was a highlight of the weekend.
On Christmas eve we always have church which makes preparing a big fancy meal a headache. This year I’m making Seafood Gumbo sometime in the month of December and freezing it. My Christmas smile is bigger already. We also limit the number of gifts to the kids. One big thing from Santa and a stocking. Just a couple of things or one big thing from us parents.
I pick a family photo from the fall or summer and have photo cards printed at snapfish in Novemeber.
I’ve also realized that my house is not going to be photographed for Southern Living. What decorations I put up, I must take down. I want to put up decorations the kids can help with and spend more time baking or doing something fun with the kids.
I try to get organized before December 1st…my cards are already done….little steps to making it easier. I think if you sort through these things day by day a little everyday you will be fine by December 1st…but you need to start now….
I think the best thing you can do is to stop now, before the holidays start, and write down what you WANT them to look like. Do you want to participate fully in the community (church, school, town sponsored events) or do you want a quiet, homemade Christmas? Do you want it to be kid-centric, or do you want it to be multigenerational? Do you want to try new things, or keep old traditions, or both?
Then, as things come up, compare opportunities to your list. If you want a quiet, homemade Christmas keeping old traditions alive, than the town’s Snoopy themed Christmas extravaganza is probably not a good fit.
If you want to try new things, than perhaps going to a Christmas fair at the convention center and buying a tree donated by a local artist IS a good fit.
You have to know where you are going in order to get there!
First of all, the Christmas Tea, that I am planning to host this year, IS my gift to all those who will be invited. In fact, I intend to post at the very bottom of the invitation: “This IS my Christmas gift to all of my friends, and the honor of your company is the only gift I will ever need.” I hope to make Christmas less stressful for ALL of my friends; not just for me.
My own family is very large, and we have decided that this year, we are not drawing names. We are simply going to plan a meal together, and play some games. I hate the commercialization of Christmas, and this is a good year to stamp it out.
When my kids were younger we did the following ONLY:
Each night we drew a special “treat” out of a box wrapped in Christmas paper. It was for a special Christmas story or video or game. We had special cocoa in Christmas mugs to go with it. We went to bed with “quiet” Christmas music on. We JUST SAID NO to everything else!!! Was I popular? NO. Did my kids like it–not always. We skipped Christmas Teas at Scouts, etc. Now that they are older they are GLAD!
Now that they are “tweens” [and a brand new TEEN] we each pick ONE event, if desired. Go downtown for the big Tree lighting, or to the Tea or whatever. Last year the answer was YES only to the tea and only because I was a Scout Leader!!!
This training in saying no helps. As they grew older we did more at home-Operation Christmas Child Boxes, baked cookies for the elderly, made gifts for our family and friends. But we STAYED home. That’s the key to sanity!
The most stressful part of the holidays for most people is the shopping. I have successfully avoided Christmas shopping for years!
All year long, whenever I go out shopping, I cruise the clearance sections of various stores (Michael’s, Cost Plus, and Target are my favorite for this). When I see something that is priced at $1 or less, I buy ten of them. By December, I have a chest full of neat little thingies.
I buy several large ceramic bowls from WalMart ($1-$2 each) and fill them with the various items, tailoring them for each family / person. So-and-so doesn’t drink coffee, so they get tea. Such-and-such doesn’t like scented candles, so they get a sachet. Etc.
It’s a lot of fun, and it saves both money and sanity!
My number one piece of advice to help December stay beautiful and simple is to think about what you truly honestly want. Do not let anyone guilt you into doing something that you do not want to. Often I see people guilted into gift exchanges when in reality their budget does not allow this. But to “fit it” or not offend they participate and thus get farther into dept. Decorate your house as you see fit. As Katie said above, Southern Living is not going to come to your house. 🙂
The commercialization of Christmas just seems to be getting worse. My husband and I have scaled back drastically in the gifts we exchange and the cards we send. We cut out the people that we haven’t seen in years and only exchange cards with. We provided our email address last year. My extended family is growing more than the budge allows. When we contacted cousins to say that we were not going to participate in the gift exchange, we were scared of their reaction. But to our surprise they were happy. Several said they felt the same way but were too scared to bring it up. So now we have agreed to not feel guilty about gifts and to just enjoy each other’s company.
You are right! Christmas is so very magical and I believe it is important to keep the essence of its meaning alive, rather than losing it to worry. I have found that it is especially helpful to throw a small christmas tea gathering and allow that time for friends and children to help decorate the house. You can use the time to bring out each persons creative side and make your own garlands from popcorn and dried cranberries, or your own scented candles by placing dried spices around the candle. It is such a blast and by the end of the night everything is decorated and reminds you of each person that helped make it! Christmas is about connecting and nurturing each other, remembering the kindness and love in each other.
Instead of buying presents for everyone, sit down and write a letter to each person that you love dearly; expressing to them why they mean so much to you! You can even go as far as to frame it and place some art work around it, you will be surprised how much this letter gets cherished!
One Christmas, there was no money to buy gifts at our house so we gathered around the tree on Christmas Eve and gathered all the magazines we had around the house. For the next couple of hours we cut out pictures in magazines that we would buy for each other if we could! We then wrapped the pictures up in wrapping paper and placed them under the tree for Christmas morning. That was the best Christmas I can remember because you got to see what your family would get you if they could, and the day never once became about money. I really felt the meaning of true giving that day! We all cried together and from that Christmas forward we only give money gifts to the children but we give pure love to the rest of our family and friends! Try it…it’s purely magical!
My biggest tip for a simple holiday season would be avoid travelling, since this is my number one stressor. However, that’s not really an option a lot of the time.
Christmas is bar-none my favorite holiday but it always seems like *something* doesn’t turn out right. So my next best tip is to *relax,* even if the tree falls over (that one was my fault), even if all the cookies get eaten by the dog (hey, she had a *great* holiday that year), even if you’re sitting in an airport Christmas morning or you had your wisdom teeth out Christmas Eve (thanks mom and dad), even if it’s not the perfect holiday you dreamed of, you’ll still have memories you can smile about.
We scale back the gifts. The kids only get three gifts and we don’t feel guilty because they will recieve more gifts from other extended family members. Also, we exchange extended family gifts with the cousins but not aunts and uncles. The most helpful thing for me is not to fall into the retail trap. I spend as much time as possible out of the stores (and not reading magazines) that will try to make me feel like I have to have something. It is also good not to bring my kids shopping…they are most vulnerable to the christmas marketing. We want Christmas to be about Christ, not about ourselves.
Like someone above, we also give our children only 3 gifts around the theme of “J.O.Y.”…one to help you be more like Jesus, one to share with Others (usually a board game or dvd), and one just for You. They love it! We draw names with extended family members and always do a carry-in style for the meal with the extended family, that way one person is not doing it all. The host usually cooks the meat, whether turkey, ham, etc. We have switched from Christmas cards to a letter format, which this year will be a New Year’s version, since we are expecting a baby around Christmas…ha ha, now THERE’S a way to simplify things! Ha! You can’t commit to much b/c you might be in the hospital! 🙂 We also try to focus on giving to others and not getting. Some of our family traditions include fixing a gift basket of staples and treats for a needy family and delivering it together, buying something needed for our church nursery or Sunday school classes, and participating in our church’s name/gift exchange for children whose parents don’t come to church with them. Our children LOVE this and I think they get more excited thinking about what these other children would like than they do about what they “want” for Christmas! Another thing, we are not a big t.v. watching family (we stick mainly to dvd’s/videos and special programs that we choose as a family), so that also helps to cut down on the commercials our kids see…helping a bit with the “Oh, I want that and that and that!” One thing I have learned in the recent years, it’s okay to say no! 🙂 I used to feel pressured to participate in all the special stuff, but realized it was taking a toll on our family! Now, we are more selective and choose things that fit in with the way we want our family to celebrate Christmas. Hope that helps some.
I would say there are 2 major things we do that I think helps me enjoy the season more. One, I plan/shop as much as possible in months beforehand so I can catch great sales and also have time to think of good ideas. Right now, I have 80% of my shopping done, including all wrapping items. Two, my mom’s family has had a tradition for years which is to have Christmas “dinner” on a day besides Christmas, so on Christmas morning we all wake up and have a small but really nice brunch and just hang out in our pjs and open presents and play games and listen to music. It is so relaxing to not have to cook a big meal on Christmas!
I have lots of other things I do, but some have been mentioned in the other posts so I’ll leave it to those 2 main ideas. Have a wonderful Christmas!
Our Christmas is very low-key. We don’t shop, but choose to do homemade gifts. I don’t generally send out cards, but we’ll often write letters to special people. We do catch one community concert, and last year we spent Christmas Eve afternoon baking and decorating cookies, then taking them to neighbor’s homes, and that was fun. We use evenings for snuggling on the couch and reading aloud. And since we don’t “do” Santa, the older kids have a good time choosing bulk granola and dried fruits/nuts to put in stockings–that’s Christmas morning breakfast for everyone.
Completely checking out of the commercial push has been the biggest, best thing we’ve ever done!
We’ve also scaled back on Christmas — I haven’t sent “real” Christmas cards in several years.
However, this year I’m going to have an Advent blog instead. This way there’s a new post every day, and I can preload them up before posting.
99% of our family has Internet access, so this will work out just fine. I did buy a few $1 props to use for photos a few years ago.
As far as gifts for out of state relatives, Amazon gift cards work.
I told all of my friends that I was making a donation in their name to a charity, instead of giving one more “thing”. I pooled all of my money and gave a nice chunk of money to one charity. My friends seemed really touched, I didn’t contribute to consumerism, and we all helped out an organization in need.
PS – I love all of these ideas – it’s encouraging to hear that other people are striving for the simple life!
Because I cherish and appreciate the wonderful people in my life all year long and honor them throughout the year, I do not have that feeling of having to go overboard at Christmas.
For me Christmas is every day of the year.
I only do what I would do any other day of the year and they know that I am there for them when they need me.
Hosting a Simple Open House for friends is the only gathering that I plan. I often have it after Christmas when all the excitement of the holiday is over. They seem to appreciate the idea that it is a time to relax after all the holiday plans are a thing of the past.
Happy Simple Holidays to All!
Mary Jane