Does your to-do list keep you up at night? Do you fall into the comparison trap on a regular basis? Do you fight habits only known to you and feel discouraged at your lack of progress? If you answered yes to any of these questions, you and I hold something in common.

I think it’s easy to fall into the trap that our successes and failures are all dependent on us. In fact, in my opinion it’s the dark secret no one talks about in the self-help books and mindset of the age that tells us we can be anything we want to be. Do anything we want to do. That our destiny lies in our own hands and with enough education, determination, and American dreamism, we can build our lives to look like we want them to look.

Now, don’t get me wrong. I am incredibly grateful to live in America. I loved going to college. And my days are marked by getting up and tackling the same hurdles day after day in order to build something of value. But how do we deal with the failures? By berating ourselves? Turning into a neurotic and driven individuals ostracizing the people around us? Just work harder?

I worked really hard in 2007. I started this blog, welcomed my youngest child into full-time homeschooling, and worked on remodeling projects around my home. I nurtured family and friendships, kept up our strict diet because of food allergies (as if feeding a family of five day-in and day-out wasn’t enough), and hosted numerous events. I read for knowledge, walked for fitness, and visited dentists, doctors, and numerous sports events. Shall I go on?

And I’m guessing like many of you, the grayness of January wants to taunt our failures. Yes, I still weigh more than I did when I got married. My boys still love video games despite my best efforts to steer them different directions. I ate spoonfuls of whipped cream today, despite the dairy allergy. And I’m sure someone, somewhere is mad that they haven’t received that call back or thank you card. It’s enough to make one watch American Idol and laugh at others’ failures instead!

However, after recovering from the immediate sense of exhaustion I struggled with during the beginning of this month, three words are beginning to break through the fog.

“Grace and peace”

“Grace and peace”

“Grace and peace”

I am a first-born raised by a first-born. I expect I will always focus on productivity and achievement naturally. Oh how I need help to remember that:

  • I was created by a Creator who has not abandoned me. The same brilliance that made my circulatory system and soul guides my life today.
  • I was made for relationships that are symbiotic, interdependent, and mutual. I am not meant to live without needing others.
  • I need love that says, “There is nothing you can do to make me love you more and there is nothing you can do to make me love you less.” That, my friends, is my new definition of grace.

So today, whatever circumstance you face, take time to brew yourself a cup of tea. Sit and look out your window. Yes, the gray is there…the answer is not to ignore it. But breathe deep and remember, despite the gray…

“Grace and peace”

“Grace and peace”

“Grace and peace” to you and yours, dear friends.