A note from Tea Party Girl, Sonya Michelle: This lovely post is one of the very first things ever published here on Tea Party Girl – all the way back in 2007! Nearly twenty years on, I don’t think a word of it needs updating. (What do you think?) So here it is, exactly as it was written.

Aren’t Tea Parties for Retired Ladies Wearing Red Hats* ?

[Original Article by Jenny Wells, June 2007]

No! Not a’tall!

In reality cultures around the world for thousands of years have held tea parties, or traditions surrounding the taking of tea. This is true for men and women alike. The Chinese kept tea secret for three thousand years, but once tea began to be traded, its consumption spread like wildfire. Japanese geisha and the daughters of English nobility were trained to serve tea with elaborate ceremony and decorum.

In fact, did you realize that the tradition of leaving tips originated in the English Tea Gardens? The distance between the kitchen and serving tea in the gardens was great enough to cool the tea down before the servers came to you. Boxes were placed on the tables and coins dropped into them T.o I.nsure P.rompt S.ervice so the upper class could drink their tea hot.

Throughout literature of all kinds, men and women drink tea in a ceremonial way. In “Heart of Darkness” by Joseph Conrad, Marlow narrates the following before sailing out to sea. “I had a cup of tea–the last decent cup of tea for many days–and in a room that most soothingly looked just as you would expect a lady’s drawing room to look, we had a long quiet chat by the fireside.” I remember the movie “A Beautiful Mind”. At the end, despite all his struggles, John Nash is finally invited into the Professors’ Club to take tea and receive the acceptance of his colleagues.

Americans let go of some of the tea traditions they brought across the pond along with their commitment to the crown when they fought for independence. The tea was thrown into the harbor and the baby out with the bathwater as tea became unpopular to drink. Yet despite this setback, the love of the tea party remains throughout generations as young girls (and some boys!) play tea party from when they are very small. Traditions surrounding tea crop up from the hearth to the university. And in our diverse cultured nation, the opportunity to experience other countries’ tea traditions can be as easy as driving to the closest city.

The tea party is NOT just for retired ladies who wear red hats. The tea party is about traditions, friendships, and cultivating beauty. To enjoy the Western traditions of tea, one does not need to love everything Victorian or wait until they reach a certain age. Anyone can enjoy the tea party.

Do your family or friends take tea with any regularity or ceremony? I know Tea Party Girl’s readers would love to hear about it.

*Retired Ladies Wearing Red Hats — a little side note: this is a reference to the Red Hat Society. For anyone who’s not familiar – this is a real thing! The Red Hat Society started back in 1998 in California, when a woman named Sue Ellen Cooper gave a friend a red hat for her birthday. Said to be inspired by a much-loved poem about growing older without apology, in purple, with a red hat that doesn’t match a thing. What began as one gift between friends turned into a global sisterhood of women getting together for exactly the kind of thing this post is about: friendship, fun, and yes, the occasional tea party. So if you’d like to know more (or fancy joining a chapter of your own), you can find them at redhatsociety.com. And ,I happen to love purple and red together! ~SM