A gracious hostess learns how to roll with the punches. My question is not to advocate expressing horror TO our guests or possibly, family members. But with Thanksgiving behind us and Christmas on the near horizon, I thought I’d provide an opportunity for my readers to say what they really think. Here at TPG and with the “privacy” of the Internet, there’s no need to be shy or even polite. I am here for the hostesses of the world! Go ahead and leave a comment. What is your number one etiquette pet peeve?
In all fairness, I will tell you mine. There is one that outshines them all; that takes my stomach and twists it into knots and makes my temples pound. I care about this more than issues of cleanliness, lateness, RSVPs, a lack of thank yous, or even arriving with the family dog.
I do not understand grown-ups who dominate the conversation, either with constant chatter or sullenness without engaging the people around them.
I can acquiesce that my children’s generation may not write letters as much as their grandparent’s generation. But the art of conversation will never go out of style. And one of the lessons I have to teach my children over and over and over again, is to not babble on about what THEY think is funny or interesting at the dinner table, but to ask questions of the others who are there. It’s even more difficult to teach them to answer the questions of others’ polite inquiries despite their mood or opinion of the inquirer.
I am of the opinion that any personality from the extreme extrovert to the most-shy introvert can learn the art of conversation. It just means keeping in mind others over ourselves. People are fascinating creatures and full of stories. Making room for others to talk is key to our ability to connect with one another. We need to learn to ask questions, not only share our own stories, and practice engaging others when gathered together over a meal or the tea party.
Do you agree? How did it go around your Thanksgiving table this weekend? Please leave comments and let us know your number one etiquette pet peeve, as well!
I am most annoyed when people go on and on about their diet, what they can eat, should eat, and how they shouldn’t eat what you’re serving. It takes all the fun out of fixing or indulging in anything special.
That’s a really great one, TPG! As is the one from Marty. In addition to these, I get really annoyed when someone RSVPs in the affirmative, then doesn’t show for the party and doesn’t bother to call. Not only have I prepared for him/her (food, place setting, possible gift, etc.), but I will worry about his/her safety until I hear that all is well.
Lovely new header and picture. I just noticed it a few days ago.
My biggest pet peeve is with RSVP. I’ve tried everything, even writing it in plain English “Call/email to let us know if you are coming or not by XXXXXdate.” Some will RSVP but most won’t. And then they show up and you have the table set, food prepared etc. It could be that I just know dumb people. 🙂
I never know what to say to keep a conversation going, if I’m in a situation where I have nothing to say. There are some people to whom I always have a lot to say, but just to sit & chit chat with someone is torture for me. I was just thinking this morning that I need to get over this by the time my kids start dating, because my MIL is the same way as I am, and it adds up to a lot of awkward silences, just because neither of us knows what to say.
And I second the pet peeve about RSVPing.
My biggest pet peeve is misunderstandings about the way things work. I wondered for two years why my husband’s aunt had become so bitter and nasty to me, and finally found out that it was because she had expected that when we moved to her area we would be constant casual visitors. I was taught never to visit uninvited, especially people you don’t know well, and I barely knew her (she never visited us either, or called). Different people have different ideas of what etiquette is, and things would be much easier if we were all on the same page.
You are all coming up with great perspectives. I agree, Marie, that can be VERY frustrating.
I can’t stand it when people show up to my house unannounced…
…or even the most simple…
…It drives me nuts when people don’t say “please” and “thank you”.
Oops! Surely, I talk way too much!
I will have to watch that. My pet peeve about all social interactions:
EXPECTATIONS THAT I KNOW NOTHING ABOUT! Grrrr…..it makes me so mad. I also can’t stand constant complaining. I don’t socialize to hear all the things you don’t like. I also hate gossip.
Oh goodness, am I complaining myself? I better stop my list. Oh wait! One more…..it is not nice to never sit down with your guests and to be more concerned with your house than us! I stand corrected on my mouth though! I love to talk!
My biggest pet peeve is when people chew with their mouths open, and even if you are not looking, you keep hearing, “smack, smack, smack.” I am living in the Third World, and in my country most ADULTS are also eating like this! When I ask my own family members to please close their mouths when they chew, they make up all sorts of excuses why they can’t–they also claim that why should they have to when no one else does!
Madame Monet